Wisdom from a Godly Old Man

I just met B.W. Miller Sr., a local mountain man who grew up on a potato farm in the Howard’s Creek area. He now lives on his great granddaddy’s farm. His dad was also surveyor, which he did until he was in his seventies. One day he was with his dad surveying and he said, “Let’s go back to the house, B.W., I just can’t figure any more.” Mr. Miller is now eighty-four years old but still works every day with his son taking care of beef cattle. He explained, “When my son was little he used tottle around after me everywhere I went. Now that I’m old, I tottle around him everywhere he goes.”

As I continued to talk with him, I realized that this was a man who had allowed the experiences of life and the truth of God to give him depth and fullness. So, standing in the driveway with the Spring sunlight shining on us, I took advantage of this brief opportunity and asked, “What is the most important piece of advice you would give a young man?”

He didn’t really have to think about it. He looked at me for a moment, as if to determine how serious I was about my question. Then he answered, “Take care of your wife.” As tears filled his eyes, he repeated, “Take care of your wife. Take care of her . . . every day. She’s the most precious thing you have. And take care of your children. . . . You have to communicate with your wife and children. Be sure you talk to them. I’ve been married for 54 years and me and my wife have never had a fightin’ quarrel. We have had disagreements, but no quarrel. . . . I learned that when she’s ill, I’m to be careful. And when I’m ill, she’s careful. . . . And when you get old, after 54 years of marriage, you keep taking care of her. She’s not doing so well now and I still take care of her every day.”

Interviewed by a Homeschooler

Emma Curtis, one of the students in our local home school association (High Country Christian Home Schoolers), e-mail interviewed me for their online publication. Here are the questions and my answers:

1) How long have you been homeschooling?  Six years

2) Do you have any tips for new homeschoolers that plan to have large families?

We recommend selecting a curriculum that allows you to teach some subjects to several grade levels at once. We use My Father’s World. We are able to teach Bible, History, Vocabulary, Art, and Science to our three oldest together (5^th, 4^th, and 2^nd grades). This is not only efficient for the parents, but it gives us more of a group learning experience with more dialogue and learning from the other students. Although they are studying the same basic subject, they are allowed to work at their own levels.

I would assume that a large family full of undisciplined, selfish consumers would be quite miserable. The only way it is possible to have a large family and a peaceful home is for each family member to see himself or herself as a productive part of a team. It is important to establish a culture of service, strong relationships, kindness, and shared purpose.

3) What are the Christian principles that your family embraces most?

The purpose of our family is to love God, love people, and make disciples. This is not unique, of course. We believe that is God’s purpose for all believers, families and churches. As I mentioned in the last question, having such a purpose is one of the keys to having a productive, peaceful home. All other principles, guidelines, or questions fall somewhere under these goals.

4) What are some of the greatest triumphs and trials our family experienced while planting a new church in Boone?

The greatest trial of our experience in starting Highland Christian Fellowship was working through significant theological and practical difference with other believers. This can be hard at two levels. First is when such difference are dealt with wrongly, without humility, patience, and love. Second is when such differences cannot be resolved, even when dealt with rightly. We have learned that it is important to discern between primary and secondary issues of faith. There are comparatively few primary issues of faith that must be met for Christian fellowship. In general, I’m afraid the Church often makes too much of secondary issues.

The greatest triumph of our experience has been the tremendous spiritual growth of everyone involved. Many of us have seen the last few years as providing the most significant spiritual growth in our lives. Now that we are established, our hope is that the greatest triumph will be that God uses us powerfully to see the lives of others transformed by the love and truth of Christ.

Organizing Chores for the Kids

Six kids (and two adults) can wreck a house in very little time. So we make the kids clean it up! We believe that kids are supposed to do chores just because they are part of our home (not for an allowance). It teaches them to take care of their own stuff, care about their environments, and learn to serve and be a part of a family and community. In addition, you just can't have a bunch of kids and expect (and thus train) them to all just be consumers in your house. Everyone pitches in. But we have found that teaching and managing six kids in doing chores is almost as hard as cleaning the house ourselves. Overtime, though, we have developed a pretty good system for dividing the chores among the kids. This weekend we found ourselves seeing a need to reevaluate and reorganize what we were doing because it wasn't working as well as we need it to. Then Dana remembered that she bought a set of books from Steven and Teri Maxwell that included a book on how to organize your children's chores, Managers of Their Chores: A Practical Guide to Children's Chores. So I read it over the weekend; It is outstanding!

There are several chapters on the biblical basis, the current benefits, and the future benefits of chores for children. I was impressed with the way they placed something as tedious as chores in the context of loving and depending on God. So we are going to try out their suggested method of managing and organizing our kid's chores. I was especially pleased to find that they have a website, chorepack.com, with digital material, forums, and other resources. There is even an online service called ChoreWare that helps you organize and print your own personalized version of the system. Although we haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend the book. The online service is easy to use and highly adaptable to each family's needs. We'll let you know how it goes!

"Apologetics is a very powerful too, but it's ultimately janitorial. . . . You are doing no more than clearing away debris that blocks the door to faith, and ultimatley it is God's love that has to work its way into a heart." - Dinesh D'Souza

The Logic of Abortion

One of my favorite class discussions in our Public Speaking class at Appalachian State is on "Building Powerful Arguments." In it we talk about logos, pathos, and ethos, and deductive and inductive reasoning. In order to demonstrate how a logical appeal (logos) can be made with a deductive argument, we use the topic of abortion. I lead the class in an attempt to create a deductive argument for a pro-choice and a pro-life position. I emphasize how important it is to be able to accurately articulate the view of the opposing argument (that is, to the satisfaction of one who hold that view). If this simple step were taken in such discussions, much misunderstanding, straw-man arguments, and talking past each other would be eliminated. Deductive reasoning argues for a claim based primarily on the logical relationships of certain premises. First, the students must establish a major premise. This is an assumed principle that both sides should agree upon. Next is the minor premise. This is where the one logically connects the major premise to his or her claim. A simplified version of a deductive argument (a syllogism) for both sides of the abortion issue may look like this:

Pro-Choice

Major Premise:            Women have a right to control their bodies and # of children. Minor Premise:            Abortion is an exercise of that right. Claim:                         Protect abortion rights

Pro-Life Major Premise:             Taking the life of another human is wrong. Minor Premise:            Abortion is taking the life of a human. Claim:                         Stop abortion

There are other ways to argue both sides, but this is a start upon which both sides generally agree. Anyone have any suggestions on how to improve this beginning point for discussion? Next time I will explain how both sides usually criticize the logic of the other.

Afraid of the Dark

I am editing a book for my friend and co-pastor of our church, RD Hodges. It is titled, The Greatest Adventure I Never Dreamed Of. Here is an excerpt we are still working on:

There were a few black bears that would pass though our woods, and even tales of “panters” (panthers) that would scream in the night. Just the thought of these was enough to keep the footsteps of a young boy quick to the house when night was near.  With big-eyed terror lurking in my imagination, I would only feel safe when our front door was shutting behind me as I came in after dark. I was afraid of the dark.  But, I was a boy growing into a man; I was not supposed to be afraid.

I grew up in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina and spent most of my childhood in the woods. One Saturday I left before first light, as I had done many times before. I had that itch to rush off, to go and hunt, to explore and discover, to hide myself in the woods.  Full of excitement and a spirit of adventure, I was off to hunt squirrels. But this time, with a body growing strong and lungs deep with the fresh morning air, I set my heart on a ridgeline far—further than I had ever gone before. It turned out to be a fruitful day of hunting. I had harvested a pouch full of squirrel and a grouse.

Late in the day, thrilled with the new territory I was covering, I shot and wounded another squirrel. This one was crippled so it could not climb. I chased it on the ground, down a ridge, until it went into the ground under a stump.  I had been taught that you never leave a wounded animal. So I began to dig.  Some time later, I was able to get my hand into the hole and grab its legs. Never in my experience before or since have I been able to understand how I could not pull that squirrel out.  I was tired after a long day. I was sweaty, dirty, hungry, and in tears because I couldn’t get the wounded animal out.

As I finally gave up on the squirrel, I realized that it was almost dark.  Terror struck my heart. I had never been this far before; I didn’t even know exactly where I was. But I knew that in a few minutes it would be dark, and those bears that pass through the woods and those “panters” that scream in the night would be out. I squeezed my 16-gauge shotgun, my only source of comfort. But I had only three shots left, just enough to make a bear or “panter” mad. I was as good as dead and eaten. As the darkness crept into the woods, I was paralyzed with fear. I took a few steps and then stopped to listen. A few more steps . . . stop and listen. I believed that at any minute I would hear the rush of the bear or the scream of the panther right before I died. Moments in terror seem like eternity in time.

Then full-night set in and, to my amazement, I was still alive. Soon, I was walking slowly with my shotgun up in front, ready to fire at will. Then, walking faster, I accepted the possibility that I might make it home in one piece, though much later than normal. Coming down the last hill to my house, I was walking with confidence—my chest out, my gun down by my side. I had made it.

I had conquered the darkness and my fear. I learned that fear could paralyze a person. But I also learned that many times fear has a lot of bark and no bite. It was a joy and relief to come face to face with the big-eyed terror of darkness and survive! This experience planted a seed of understanding about who I was and what I was capable of. Unfortunately, at this point in my life, the only one I could credit for this victory was me. That night I gained assurance in my strength. This was the first of many steps down a dead end road—the dead end road of my own sufficiency.

St. Matthew?!

I recently read again about "saints" in the Bible. What does it mean to be a saint? First, we move past the Roman Catholic understanding of a saint as an especially holy and officially recognized believer in the church. The Bible refers to all believers as saints. Paul wrote "to all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints" (Rom 1:7). But what does saint mean? The word saint comes from a Latin word that refers to something sacred. It is used to translate the Greek words oi agioi, which is literally translated "the holy ones." To be holy, according to this Greek word, mean "dedicated to God, holy, sacred, i.e. reserved for God and God’s service" or "pure, perfect, worthy of God" (BDAG, 10-11).

So, what does it mean to be St. Matthew (not that I want anyone to call me that!)? It means that I am a holy one. It means I am set apart as one who is in a special relationship with God. I am one of "God's people." It also means that I am set apart for the purpose of serving him. This is who I am and this is my purpose. It strikes me now how weak and slavish that would sound to people who don't know him. But just remember, HE IS LIFE and HE IS LOVE. If that is what I am going to be forever bound to, then hook me up!

Since God is holy, in the pure and perfect sense, the purity of those who relate to and serve him is essential. Positionally, God has provided for my purity through the atoning death and resurrection of Christ. By faith and his grace, I am pure before him; I am cleansed and forgiven. That does not mean I live a pure life, but it means that I CAN. And if I do live a pure life then I am able to be more and more intimate with him and more and more useful to him (2 Tim 2:19-22).

Sometimes we don't live like we belong to God. We live like we belong to ourselves and are very happy to have God on our side. Sometimes we don't live like our all consuming purpose is to serve him. We are glad to have someone who will provide good advice and help as we go our own way. Living as his for him is a very different way of living. And that is what it means to be saints, holy ones, God's people.

"North! Or Be Eaten"

We opened our box from Amazon.com with great excitement. We knew that it contained the first two books (and only two for now) of The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness (here is my brief review) and North! Or Be Eaten. I had already finished listening to the audio book of One the Edge and loved every minute of it. So I dove right into North! I may be even better, if that is possible. I highly recommend these books. Here is a drawing of the Sea Dragons that appear in both books.