10 Ways to Teach Your Children to Know God's Will for Their Lives

Here is the outline for my second session at the Thrive! NCHE Conference. You can  view the prezi I used in the presentation. 

Ten Ways to Teach Your Children to Know God’s Will for Their Lives

  1. Surrender your life to God (Rom 12:1-2; John 7:16; Luke 9:23-25).
  2. Study Scripture (1 Thess 4:1-6; 2 Tim 3:16-17).
  3. Pray (Phil 4:6-7; Jer 29:11-13; James 4:2b).
  4. Listen to God’s Spirit (Acts 5:32; 20:23; Rom 8:16; John 15:26; 16:7-15).
  5. Wait (Ps 25:4-5).
  6. Observe your personal desires and abilities (1 Cor 7:8-9, 36-38; 12:4-7, 11).
  7. Observe God’s work in your circumstances (James 4:13-17; 1 Cor 16:8-9).
  8. Listen to the counsel and those in authority (Matt 15:15-17; Heb 13:17; Eph 6:1-2; 1 Cor 12:14-21; Prov 15:22).
  9. Reason and test ideas and opportunities (Prov 14:15; Rom 12:2; 1 Cor 10:15; 1:20-21; 2:4; Prov 3:5-7; 1 John 4:1-6).
  10. Evaluate impressions and signs (Acts 8:26; 22:17-18; 2 Cor 11:13-15; Gal 1:8).

How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home

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Here is the outline for my first workshop at the Thrive! NCHE Conference. You can download it and you can view the prezi I used for the presentation. If you would like the article that unpacks biblical conflict resolution, sign up for post updates in the right sidebar and get How to Stop a Fight Before It Starts for free.

 

How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home
Session 11 Saturday 1:50-2:50 p.m

Why do we want to stop the fighting in our home?

  • Because it is pleasant to have a peaceful home (Prov 17:1).
  • Because we want to love and obey God (Eph 4:1-4).
  • Because we want to prepare our children for a life of maturity (Eph 6:4).

Three ways to stop the fighting in your home:

1.        Set a peaceful example.

  • Stop fighting your spouse (Prov 26:21; Prov 21:19).
  • Stop fighting your children (Eph 6:4; Prov 15:1).
  • If you are fighting, then you are choosing to be selfish and prideful (James 4:1-2; 1 Cor 13:4-7).
  • Let the Spirit of Christ live in you! (Gal 2:20; 5:22-23).

2.        Set basic rules of engagement.

  • No yelling
  • No violence.
  • No manipulation

3.        Teach your children to speak truth to one another (Eph 4:15; Matt 18:15-17).

Teach them the Matt 18 process:

  • Speak to the other person privately.
  • Ask another person to help verify problem (I don’t require this step).
  • Go to those in authority to handle the situation.

4.        Teach your children biblical conflict resolution. 

  • Give space (James 1:19).
  • Check yourself  (Matt 7:3-5).
  • Let go of anger (Eph 4:26-27; Matt 18:21-35).
  • Love (Mark 12:30; Gal 5:14).
  • Pray (Matt 5:44; James 1:5-8).
  • Talk about it (Prov 18:13;15:1).
  • Discern the issue (Rom 14:1-12).
  • Speak the truth (Matt 18:15; Eph 4:15; Gal 6:1).
  • Give space

Thrive Homeschool Conference!

We are looking forward to attending Thrive! The NCHE Homeschool Conference this week, May 21-23!  I highly recommend this conference for the encouragement, resources, relationships, and information available for homeschooling families. It is not too late to attend. You can register when you arrive.

I will be presenting two workshops this year:

How to Stop the Fighting in Your Home—Are you fed up with the ugly talk and fighting in your home? It’s amazing that it is easier to be polite and patient with those outside the family than those we love the most! A major part of preparing our children for life is teaching them how to interact with others. In this session, we will apply biblical conflict resolution principles to the relationships in your home. You will receive practical tools for teaching your children to handle conflict (and practicing it yourself!).

Ten Ways to Teach Your Children to Know God’s Will for Their Lives—How can you know God’s will for your life? Many Christians want to know God’s will for their lives, but feel unsure how to discern it. Our children have their whole lives in front of them. They have the opportunity to avoid many mistakes and live for Christ. You can give them the understanding and encouragement necessary to know and follow God’s direction and calling. Come learn ten basic biblical principles for discerning God’s will that you can pass to your children.

Seven Surefire Ways to Find Yourself in Sin, Part 1

No one ever intends to be stuck in fear, depression, or addiction. No one ever intends to be trapped by sin. It happens over time, through a series of choices that we make. There is a path to sin and there is a way to avoid it. We can clearly see the path to sin as we observe the first human sin in Genesis 3.

Below you can stream or download the audio recording of part 1 of my teaching on Genesis 3:1-7, given at Highland Christian Fellowship on April 26, 2015.

Why Did God Make Marriage?

On April 25, 2015, our church had the privilege of witnessing the marriage of Galen Wilkes and Victoria Stringer! It was a beautiful time. The way that God brought them together is a great testimony of his goodness as we trust in his ways.

I am sharing the audio recording of the brief charge I gave to them at the ceremony. Why did God make marriage?

How to Survive the #1 Attack on Marriage

Galen Wilkes and Victoria Stringer are getting married April 24, 2015!

Galen Wilkes and Victoria Stringer are getting married April 24, 2015!

Your marriage is under attack. I bet you can feel it. The world, the flesh, and Satan are all working to keep your marriage from being a powerhouse for God's kingdom. I have always been committed to my marriage, to never giving up or getting a divorce. But when I recently studied Matt 19: 1-12, Jesus' teaching on divorce, I gained insight into how God designed marriage and how he sees it. It only deepened my understanding and commitment to God's awesome creation in marriage!

Here is a recording of my teaching on this passage, given last Sunday, April 19, at our church, Highland Christian Fellowship. This passage contains Jesus' teaching on divorce. While there is a brief discussion at the end of the teaching on the exception clause (which is what is often discussed), I focused on Jesus' main point in the teaching: God does not want his people to divorce.

When we study Jesus' reasoning for this, we get a rich understanding of the nature of marriage!

God's people are not to divorce
because God designed marriage to be the exclusive union
of a man and woman through sexual intimacy.

Are You Afraid to Think Big?

I have been afraid to think big. I see this as a common ailment of the mediocre. We fear sacrifice. We fear the cost. We fear discomfort. We fear failure.

I am reading The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller. Chapter 9 claims that the idea that "big is bad" is a lie.

This book is not from a biblical perspective, but (as usual) anyone who hits on something true hits on God's truth. The main idea is that our mindset (the bigness of our thoughts) determines our actions, which determine our outcome.

“Everyone has the same amount of time, and hard work is simply hard work. As a result, what you do in the time you work determines what you achieve. And since what you do is determined by what you think, how big you think becomes the launching pad for how high you achieve.”
— Gary Keller, The One Thing, 88.

Our limits are the ones we place on ourselves. Aside from the reality of my physical and mental limitations, this principle works in the natural word. But it is even more potent in light of God's promises!

“God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that having all sufficiency in all things at all time,
you may abound in every good work.”
— 2 Corinthians 9:8

The connector to this mindset is faith. Do I believe that I really have access to the abundant grace of God that empowers me in all things at all times to succeed in what he wants me to do? If we believe this, we will BOLDLY OBEY ALL that God has said. And then there will be AMAZING results.

“Don’t fear big. Fear mediocrity. Fear waste. Fear the lack of living to your fullest. . . . Don’t fear failure. . . . We fail our way to success. When we fail, we stop, ask what we need to do to succeed, learn from our mistakes, and grow.”
— Gary Keller, The One Thing, 92-94

Do You Really Want Honest Friends?

One of the #1 character qualities people want in a friend is honesty. But to be honest, honesty is pretty hard. Honesty is hard because telling the truth to our friends is sometimes hard and we don't like hard. We would prefer the easy road.

The Bible confirms that a good friend is honest (and that it hurts).

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend.
Profuse are the kisses of an enemy."
Proverbs 27:5-6

Our culture has duped us into believing that the #1 quality of love is tolerance. Therefore, a good friend always puts up with everything you say and do. He will never tell you that you are wrong (which might hurt your feelings).

It is easy for us to believe this because it appeals to our selfishness. We would rather everyone always be happy with us and like us. We would rather avoid conflict. But according to God, that is not what a good friend does.

In the church (our relationships to brothers and sisters in Christ), we have an even greater responsibility to help each other out by being honest. Our responsibility is not just to those whom we would consider our closest friends.

Here are a few important principles about living in community with fellow believers:

1. Speak the truth in love.

(See Prov 27:5-6 above and Eph 4:15; Matt 18:15). When you have a concern about a brother or sister, love them enough to ask questions and learn more about it. Love them enough to share your concern. There is always the risk for nitpicking, judgmental people to abuse this (another subject for another day), but in my circles, the primary problem is an unwillingness to speak the truth.

2. Don't share your concerns about a friend with others.

"Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,
but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered."
Prov 11:13

Gossip and slander is very destructive. Also be watchful for gossip disguised as a prayer request!

Here are a couple of exceptions to this principle:

  • When you are talking to one or two mature, trustworthy people for prayer and council about helping your friend who is in a serious situation.
  • When your friend won't listen to you and you need some back up (Matt 18:16).

The next two points are steps to take when someone is trying to talk to you negatively about another person.

3. Don't form opinions about a person being talked about without getting the full story.

"The one who states his case first seems right,
until the other comes and examines him."
Prov 18:17

4. Encourage others to speak the truth in love to their friends.

If someone talks negatively about someone to you, then encourage them to follow the first two principles.

And if you sense that the person sharing information is not truly concerned, or not willing to help his friend, then ask him to stop talking to you about others.

Think of a friend you love that needs your help today. Remember, only an enemy offers nothing but kisses!