How to Get Control of Your Anger


On the very day I was working on a video on How to Get Control of Your Anger, I came across a video from Prager University on Anger Management. I usually like what Prager U puts out. However, in this video the main piece of advice given is this:

"No matter how angry you get, restrict the expression of your anger to the incident that provoked it." 

There are some good thoughts in this video on communication strategies. But that statement as the bottom line for anger management is . . . well, pitiful. Especially in light of a worldview that includes God and how he made us and how he satisfies our every need. 

Why do we become angry? What does our anger tell us about our needs and struggles? Instead of only trying to manage our anger, how can we get to the heart of our desires and learn how to trust God and follow his will regarding those desires? 

In this short video, I share what I have learned about my own anger and what it is telling me about my need for God. The insights that I share are from my dad's book, The Message in Your Emotions [Wayne McDill]. The book addresses many negative emotions that help us understand our need for God. In this video, I am referring to chapters 7-9 on Anger and Authority. 

Please comment below and let me know how these insights help you. Share and tag a friend who has anger problems. Just kidding! Just share it with all your friends. Most of them have anger problems anyway.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Have You Discovered the Ultimate Goal of Parenting?


What we are aiming for as parents has a major impact on how we relate to and raise our children every day. Have you discovered the ultimate goal of parenting from God's point of view? It is easy for us to get distracted by all sorts of other parenting goals and motives that will not produce the outcome we are really looking for. 

Here is Part 2 of my video series on How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated. [Hint: Helping your children to become self-motivated is not the ultimate goal of parenting!]

How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated Video Series

Last week I spoke to a local homeschool group on How to Help Your Children Become Self-Motivated. I have presented this talk in a set of ten videos. Here is the first one! I hope you are inspired! If you find it encouraging, please share it with others. If you have a question or comment, please leave it below.  

Are You Teaching Your Kids About Personal Finances?


"Parents cannot abdicate the teaching of finances to the schools, because the schools aren't teaching it. It's astounding to think that you can get through elementary school, high school, and college and still not know how to balance a checkbook, or buy a home, or decide what kind of insurance you need. But, unfortunately, that's the norm."

You will find this paragraph in the introduction of the Money Matters for Teens Workbook by Larry Burkett with Todd Temple. For those of us who have children in public (and probably even private) school, this is a helpful reminder that we cannot depend on the schools to prepare our children for life. In addition to teaching practical matter of life (like finances), Christian parents have to remember that God has given us the responsibility to disciple our children (Deut 6:4-9; Eph 6:4). We cannot depend on others to fulfill this role in our children's lives (not even the church!). 

For those of us who homeschool our children, this norm only confirms our reasoning for home education. But it is probably still worth asking home educators: Are you making sure to include personal finance in your teaching plan? We are using this workbook as a part of ours. 

One more reason that teaching personal finance to our children is important: "It's sad that half of all marriages today fail and, overwhelmingly, the major factor is the mismanagement of money." 

[Photo by Olly Joy on Unsplash]

Three Questions Fake Christians Can't Answer

As we were on the plane, flying home from the Dominican Republic, a friend of mine (William) got into a conversation with a Polish man who currently lives in North Carolina. William asked him if he knew for sure if he would go to heaven when he died. The man said he didn't know for sure, but would like to. So, William proceeded to share the gospel with him.

An hour later, they had run down all sort of religious and philosophical rabbit trails. That's when I joined the conversation. We did our best to try to get back to the main point, but by this time he was trying to convince us that he was a Christian. However, he clearly did not believe what the Bible teaches about salvation. I have had similar conversations in which someone claimed to be a Christian and did not believe biblical teaching on salvation, and there seemed to be no way to break through their mind set.

Soon after we returned home, I discovered this video by Tim Keller, "Questions for Sleepy and Nominal Christians." I was particularly struck by the title of the article about the video on Three Questions Fake Christians Can't Answer. These are very helpful ideas for talking with people to claim to be Christians but don't seem to understand it or don't seem to be walking it.

When It's Time to Get Married, Listen to Your Mother

When I was in college, I convinced myself that I was supposed to marry a certain girl. I even talked myself into believing that God was leading me to do it. In retrospect, I can see many reasons that I was wrong, but I did not see those at the time. Fortunately, there was one key that prevented me from making a mistake. My mother simply would not agree. I made a commitment as a young man that I would never marry someone unless I had the blessing of my parents. I believe this commitment was built on a biblical principle that helps us learn to discern God's will for our lives.

In the past few blog posts, we have been exploring important principles for understanding God’s will for our lives. These are separated into five foundations for discerning God’s will and four avenues for discerning God’s will.


  1. We can discern God's will by surrendering our lives to him.
  2. We can discern God’s will by studying Scripture (Psalm 19:7–11; 1 Thessalonians 4:1–6; 2 Timothy 3:16–17).
  3. We can discern God’s will by seeking him in prayer (Philippians 4:6–7; Jeremiah 29:11–13; James 4:2b).
  4. We can discern God’s will by waiting for him to lead us (Psalm 25:4–5; 106:13).
  5. We can discern God’s will by listening to the testimony of the Holy Spirit.


  1. We can discern God’s will by observing our personal desires, convictions, and abilities (1 Cor. 7:8–9, 36–38; Exod. 25:2; 2 Thess. 3:5; 1 Cor. 12:4–7, 11).
  2. We can discern God’s will by observing God’s work in our circumstances (James 4:13–17; 1 Kings 12:15; 1 Cor. 16:8–9; 1 Pet. 3:17; 4:19).

Now we can cover the last two avenues.

3. We can discern God’s will by listening to the counsel of the church (Matt. 18:15–17; Heb. 13:17; 1 Cor. 12:4–20, 14:29–33; Prov. 15:22).

Learning to live in community and to submit to the authority that God has placed in our lives is critical to discerning Gods' will. When you are seeking God’s will on a particular matter, go to those who have authority in your life and ask for their counsel. It is also helpful to get feedback from others in the body of Christ. Take the time and effort to find godly people you trust, and ask them for counsel as well. This might not be easy, because it takes humility to ask for and listen to advice from others. But we can be sure this is a part of how God intends to give us his wisdom.

Once again, we cannot discern God’s will only by listening to the advice of others. Sometimes we may receive conflicting feedback—and sometimes even godly people are wrong. But getting counsel from others is a critical piece that must be taken seriously to see how it fits into God’s overall movement in our lives.

4. We can discern God’s will by reasoning and testing (Prov. 14:15; Rom. 12:2; 1 Cor. 1:20–21, 2:4, 4:6, 10:15; Acts 17:2, 11, 17; 1 John 4:1–6; James 3:17).

Seeking truth is more than, but not less than, using our minds (Phil. 4:7; Rom. 12:2). We tend to try to think our way out of troubles or calculate the wisest decision. This is simply not enough.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

At the same time, it is right to use our intellect as we seek God. Although God’s ways transcend our understanding, his life-transforming work is generally discerned through the mind of the believer. Furthermore, while God’s ways may transcend logic, they are not illogical, chaotic, or confusing. If we build our thinking on the presuppositions of the love and power of God and the revelation of his Word, then his leading is going to make sense. So as we seek God’s will, we are supposed to be reflecting, thinking, remembering, paying attention, and making wise choices. As you make decisions, try to think clearly and objectively about the situation and what you know about God and his ways.

When you are seeking God’s will on a particular issue, you can use the following questions to help process these foundations and avenues for discernment.

  1. Am I willing to follow God’s will in this matter, even if it is not what I want to do?
  2. What scriptural principles are relevant to this question? Do I need to study more on this subject?
  3. Have I spent significant time in prayer seeking God about this question?
  4. Have I worked through any feelings of pressure or impatience? Will I wait until I am clear about God’s leading?
  5. Has the Spirit convicted me of any sin related to this question? Can I sense his peace in moving in a particular direction?
  6. What desires and abilities has God given me that are relevant to this question?
  7. How has God worked in my circumstances to lead me concerning this issue?
  8. Have I sought the counsel of godly leaders and others in my church? What do they have to say about it?
  9. What are the pros and cons surrounding this question? What makes most sense from a biblical perspective?

This is the the sixth post in a series. The first five are: