Workaholic for Christ

“Workaholic” is a bad word in the church. This is because we are often so consumed with our work that we neglect God and family. Work becomes god. This is no good, of course.

However, we must strive for balance (as usual). Significant parts of our culture have now replaced the god of work with the god of entertainment and leisure. I have written here about the warning from Prov 12:11: Avoid Worthless Pursuits.           

We see a very high value placed on work in the Bible. Just look at the Proverbs. Paul also consistently discussed work in his letters. In 2 Thess 3:6-15, Paul warned the believers to stay away from brothers who are idle. He then reminded them of his example:

“We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you” (2 Thess 3:7-8).

Paul sounds like a workaholic to me. But here is the important part: He was not leaving out God and ministry to people. In fact, he spoke the same way in reference to his ministry. “For three years I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears” (Acts 20:31). Paul was a workaholic for Christ.

Do you work hard to provide for yourself and others?
Do you work hard in serving the Lord? What is your ministry?
Do you have too much focus on entertainment and leisure?

You might be wondering: I’m already worn out! How can I do more?

Here are two ideas for later discussion:

1)    A healthy life includes rest and renewal. Are you resting? Is your non-work time renewing or depleting your energy?

2)    We do not work with our own strength for the Lord!

“For this (proclaiming Christ) I toil, struggling with ALL HIS ENERGY that he powerfully works within me” Col 1:28.

The Secret to Powerful Prayer [Podcast #2]

Sometimes prayer seems mysterious. When will God answer our prayers? What do we make of his promises to answer prayer (John 14:13-14; 15:7-11)? How can we learn to pray his will? If it is his will, why do we have to pray it?

Episode 2 of the Truth to Freedom Podcast is a recording of my teaching at Highland Christian Fellowship on Eph 6:19-20; Col 4:3-4. In these verses, Paul gives his prayer request to the Ephesians, a prayer for communicating the gospel. Not only do we learn what to pray, but we have the opportunity to dig into these challenging questions about prayer.

“1. If we ask him, God will provide opportunities to communicate the gospel (Col 4:3).

2. If we ask him, God will help us to communicate the gospel with boldness (Eph 6:19-20).

3. If we ask him, God will help us to know what to say when we communicate the gospel (Eph 6:19; Col 4:4).”

Are You Right with God?

What to Do:

  • Get alone and uninterrupted.
  • Determine to get right with God.
  • Draw near to him in faith and humility (Heb 10:19-22; James 4:7-9).
  • Ask God to show you how to get right with him.
  • Write down every sin he brings to your mind.
  • Ask him again and wait.
  • Write down every sin he brings to your mind.
  • Do it again.
  • Go through your list and confess, repent, and ask for cleansing by the blood of Christ for each sin individually.
  • Ask God in faith to deliver you from bondage and take back any territory in your life you have given to the enemy.
  • Mark out each item, unless it involves another person.
  • If it involves another person, determine to ask for forgiveness.
  • As you ask each person for forgiveness, then mark it off (even if they don’t forgive you).
  • Walk on in truth, light, joy, freedom, and full of the Spirit!
  • Take time to confess your sins and get right EVERY DAY.
sunrise.jpg

Questions to Consider:

  • Have you been closer to the Lord than you are now? When? Why?
  • How close to God do you want to be? Will you?
  • Are all parts of your life surrendered to Jesus?
  • What sins do you need to confess?
  • Do you have anger or bitterness? Who do you need to forgive?
  • What actions, motives, attitudes, and thoughts are not pleasing to the Lord?
  • Are you in bondage to sin? Are you controlled by fear, lies, negative thoughts, food, sexual immorality?
  • What does God want you to do that you are not doing?
  • Have you sinned against your spouse?
  • Will you repent? How?
  • Do you have accountability? Discipleship?
  • Do you have accountability and mentorship for your marriage?

How to Train Your Mind for Constant Prayer [Podcast #1]

When you don't have to focus on what you are doing (like reading this post), to what does your mind wander the most? If we observe this over a day, or even a week, we can learn something about ourselves: what is really important to us.

That is why it is so disturbing to realize how often my mind does NOT wander back to God!

In Eph 6:8 Paul encourages us to pray at all times in the Spirit. This does not mean that I am constantly asking God for something. It means that I am maintaining an attitude of prayer and sensitivity to the Spirit throughout the day.

This podcast is a recording of my teaching from Eph 6:18, "Living a Life of Prayer." It is the first ever episode in my new podcast, Truth to Freedom!

Saying Hard Things to People You Love

“I just want her to be happy.” This was what one father said when my friend asked if he could marry his daughter. Our culture believes that loving others means making them happy.

Is being happy really what it’s all about? If I were to always do what my children thought would make them happy, would that be good for them? We cannot trust “happiness” as the standard for what is best or right. That is why we sometimes have to say hard things to people we love. Telling someone the truth is often necessary for his or her good. And that is love.

So far, here are the 9 Steps for Conflict resolution: 1) Give Space. 2) Check yourself. 3) Let Go of Anger. 4) Love. 5) Pray. 6) Talk and 7) Discern the Issue. 

By going through these steps, you may discover that many of your problems are not legitimate issues. However, if we make it to this point, then it is necessary to take step 8.

8.     Speak the truth 

Jesus has given us the responsibility of going to our brother in the Lord and confronting him for his sin (Matt 18:15). This is for their good, so they can repent and avoid the harm that comes from sin (James 1:15). How we handle this is important. Paul explains that we are to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15) and “restore him in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal 6:1).

There is much more to discuss here. What if they won’t listen? What about the other steps in Matt 18? How long should this process take? For now the point is to accept the responsibility and have the courage to take this important step to lovingly and gently speak the truth. 

9.     Give space

Now we are back to the first step. Once you have spoken truth to them, give them time to process it. Unless you sense they are ready to immediately repent, you might want to end the conversation with this question, “Will you please pray about and consider what I have said?” 

How long does it take to go through all these steps?

Of course, there is no set amount of time these steps will require. You must walk through this depending on the Lord for wisdom and leadership. You should be willing for it to take much longer than you want it to. At the same time, do not assume that it must take a long time since there are so many steps. Many of these steps are basic issues of Christian maturity. It is possible that you have incorporated these behaviors into your everyday living and that you are able to process a conflict almost immediately. 

Questions for feedback: Which steps do you find most difficult? Which do you think are most important? Do you have any questions?

How to Avoid Dead End Conversations: 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution

I have had way too many conversations that went absolutely NOWHERE! That is especially discouraging when I am trying to discuss what I feel to be an important topic. In the next two steps in the 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution, I hope to point out some conversation strategies that will you help you avoid those dead end conversations.

6.     Talk

At this point in the 9 Steps, I finally get to do what I’ve been chomping at the bit to do since the problem first began: talk. Hopefully taking the other steps first  (which you can read about here: 1, 2 & 3, 4 & 5) has prevented me from making some major mistakes. If I have made it this far in the process, and still believe that there is a legitimate issue that needs to be resolved, then it is time to talk. But how I approach this is critical.

First, ask questions. I should not come into the conversation with guns a’ blazing, firing off my accusations. Here is a wise saying,

 

“If one gives an answer before he hears,
it is his folly and shame.”
(Prov 18:13)

 

Bring up the topic by asking for more information about what happened, how the other person feels about it, or what motivated the situation. Listen to what they say.

 

Second, be gentle and kind. Even if we are asking questions, we are probably poking into a sensitive area. Another wise word,

 

“A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
(Prov 15:1)

 

This open and gentle approach often gives the other person space to fess up to their own mistakes without having to confront them.

 

7.     Discern

 

       Now that you have more information, the next task in the conversation is to discern what kind of issue you are facing. I will suggest two basic categories:

        a)  those of a secondary nature, involving personal conviction or preference
b)  those involving violation of central biblical principles

 

Paul warns the Romans “not to quarrel over opinions” (14:1). On these secondary issues, “each one should be fully convinced in his own mind” (14:5). “Each of us will give an account of himself to God” (14:12).

 

Not that I can’t discuss questions of opinion or the best way to get something done. But I will do so with humility and patience. And ultimately, I will be willing to let it go and let the other person live according to his or her own conviction.

 There are some issues, though, that we cannot ignore. If so, we must move to the next step, which I will explain in the next post.

 Do you have any other suggestions for avoiding dead end conversations?

Next Step: Saying Hard Things to People You Love

Steps 4 and 5: 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution

Want to know how to have 100% of all your fights vanish into thin air?

Want to know how to remove 80% of all of your conflicts from existence?

Of course you do. So you are going to keep reading about the 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution. You may have already missed the first three steps. You can read about how to Give Space here and how to Check Yourself and Let Go of Anger here. 

So, on to the next step.

4.     Love 

When something goes wrong, our natural response is to withdrawal. This is usually an attempt to protect ourselves or to influence the other person by expressing our disapproval of them. This is not love. Love is what is best for someone else, even when it costs me. Love does not choose its course of action based on personal hurt and loss (Christ is our example).

Jesus said, “Love your enemies.” Even when we are hurt and our relationships are broken, we can love. The entire purpose of your life and all the commandment of God are fulfilled in this one act of obedience (Mark 12:30; Gal 5:14). 

Love (along with the other steps) is why 100% of your fights will cease. Love is patient and kind . . . (1 Cor 13:4-7). And if 80% of our conflicts are because we focused on ourselves, then love destroys them. We stop focusing on what we need and want and focus on others.

Here is the challenge: go do something to express your love for the person you are in conflict with. Do it before things are resolved. Do it today. This will solidify your forgiveness toward them and will strengthen your relational foundation so you can deal with difficult subjects at the right time.

5.     Pray

Do we really think we will be able change others? What do they need? Who can change them?

Jesus can. 

So talk to him about the situation. Pray for the work of the Spirit to convict them if you believe they are wrong about something. Pray about how and when to bring up the matter with them. Allow God to lead you in handling the situation. He might tell you to let him handle this one and be patient.

Next Part: How to Avoid Dead End Conversations: 9 Steps for Conflict Resolution